posts, and comments anonymously, in any medium. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for four, and he has a drinking problem.We met in our early 20s and started our relationship long-distance.I relocated to the UK and we moved in . All for a free parking spot!!! I guess I had it pretty good! Ouch. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. Fine. She arranged transportation to the hospital from our neighbors. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. This happened a few times until I fit woke him up to tell him it was time to go to the hospital. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. If something bothers them, well then, in front of all and sundry, they will pretty much have it out. 1.) This, my friends, is truly a gift. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. So the end result was his own personal police escort to the hospital. Phil, was at this point, fading fast. No seriously, it was my due date. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. It was also Boxing Day so during labour, he complained that there was nothing on TV. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. However, this might not be a good decision, ever. While I was in labor, sweating like a pig and hooked up to every wire imaginable with waaaay too many things up my vag, he sat back in a chair and said wow, Im really comfortable in this chair. Ummm Im so glad for you!! The dream doesn't end, and that's when I start to be afraid. If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? With our second child, he said, Whats the problem, youve been through this before..? The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. He begrudgingly told me hed hurry. 5. Frankly this scares me. Was. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. "I'd had bad diarrhea and an irritable stomach . Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. It was our first child. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. It is also important to seek professional marriage counseling if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. men are so egomaniacal in general. Based on our calculations, the due date for our first child fell during my husband's biggest meeting of the year, which involved a lot of preparation, presentations, and traveling. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. Alcoholism is a condition that occurs when someone becomes dependent on alcohol to the point where it controls their life. My mom didnt kill him, just in case you wondered. What would make a soon-to-be-dad not realize the birth of his child is a momentous occasion? I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. If at all possible, secure a back-up. Get this man an epidural. His response was, OOPS! I didnt even realise I was annoyed about this, nor did I particularly want to be, but it just kind of snuck up on me. I would go along with the game, keep a straight, often giddy face and say nothing. Michelle, My husband took a conference call on the way to the hospital. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! Woo hoo! -Jennifer, We were out to a movie when my contractions started. There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. Don't take anything personally. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. All I am saying is that it will probably work itself out in the end. I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. In some cases, there are no signs. That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. Theyve been divorced almost 20 years and she still holds that one over him! ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** Can I Use Soju Instead Of Sake; Kentucky Sheriff Vehicle Inspection Fayette County What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? My water broke in the middle of the night, we made our way to the hospital and once we arrived i was put in a wheel chair, wheeled into the elevator and left unable to walk because of pain while my husband went to find a free parking spot. pinterest.com. Suffer. 08, 2020, 12:03 a.m. NEW! It is quite difficult to deal with an alcoholic husbands emotional abuse. When my contractions were less than 2mins apart, I told my husband we needed to leave. Thank you! It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. Most women will go into labor within 12 hours of their water breaking, but this can happen much sooner. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. I almost left the house to officiate a HS basketball game (scrimmage) when she was in labor. It was her birthday and 12 days from her due date, her hubby had a few drinks and she went to the bathroom and her water broke. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. I asked him to rub my aching back and he refused. (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). I had nothing with me when we went in, I didnt even consider the chance that I would be having a baby that night. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. I had just done the majority of the labouring at home, in silence, (Because apparently Im now a Scientologist) not wanting to bother the pissed irresponsible husband and he was a little bit tired? The sooner it's identified, the better. Im late to the party but here is a story for you When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! We couldnt wake him up, he was barely opening his eyes when the baby crowned. If your husband is an alcoholic, the more you know about the disease, the better prepared you will be to deal with it. Bern Morley. We tackled more laundry. )My husband was engrossed by the Daytona 500. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. It's annoying, but it's not like he sits down and pounds hard alcohol or something. -Katie. Iowa City Press-Citizen via USA TODAY Network. When he came home and realized I was gone, he assumed I was just shopping or visiting family. At first he acted like I was over reacting but later apologized and agreed with me. I folded those clothes some more. My dear husband decides its a good idea to take a work call on the bluetooth/speakers in the car! I. I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? Mortified. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! I went it alone and met up with him after surgery where he was holding the baby smiling, refreshed and relieved. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. At the hospital he asked over and over If he could leave to go get himself dinner. Labor and delivery for Baby #3 were pretty uneventful, but I made it clear that I considered being in the hospital a vacation of sorts. -Stephanie, My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. Here is a picture of him, having a little lie down with Jack about 20 minutes after he was born. Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. She told you how big he was going to be. -Lois, I was fully dilated after 18 hours and my husband said you think you can hold out pushing until I grab some breakfast?-Sarah, My husband grew this ridiculous goatee and wore a shirt that said TOERAG on it, so he looks ridiculous in all the photos. So, do you maintain the rage? The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. Oh, yeah, I am sure he will slow it down. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. For example, someone might have a problem with drinking but deny it to themselves or their loved ones to avoid admitting they have a drinking problem. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. Not saying you aren't important to him..I'm sure you mean the world to him but having a child is a whole new/different kind of love that might just make him realize the drinking like he does needs to slow down. My hero. I woke DH up around 2 or so once I realized I was in labor, and he drove me 20 minutes to the hospital. Finally, my Dad called the neighbors across the street to ask them to leave a note on the door of the house. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. Suffer, dear. When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. I waited in the car while my husband went in 5 minutes go by 10 minutes 15!!!!!! He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. Hopefully not, so perhaps you can work that angle to get him to realize that he has to drive you to the hospital. dan patrick family, ainsley earhardt long island house,