Do You Want To Play The Devil's Game? A maybe, When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane, All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution, Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine, The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. RELATED: Punny Food Pickup Lines That Guarantee a Chuckle. Keep goingyoure on the write track! I couldn't if I fried. Litter Cat Puns. (Credit: justbadpuns on tumblr). Im on a c food diet; candy, cookies, and cake. The word bereisheet has three root letters (ROSh), a one letter prefix (B) and a two-letter suffix (eeT). For example, "The incredulous cat said you've got to be kitten me right meow! Q. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. Kids are fascinated by hospitals, medicine, doctors and nurses, and how their body works, but these jokes probably won't teach them anything about those things! Fortunately, I have a bizarrely good memory for numbers and, without skipping a beat, I reel off the one he gave me when he came in the store. Bud Abbott: Thats right. 50. For Paul's 46th birthday Artie was pretty broke, so all he could get his friend was a single lottery ticket. 6 My Favorite F. Scott Fitzgerald Book Is The Great Gastly. So, after much deliberation I decided to welcome my Dad to the world of SMS the only way I felt was appropriate to the relationship we share. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? Hal: How did you get hit on the head with a book? For those that don't get it, it's Avogadro's constant, whose value is: 6.02214110^23. Because seven eight ("ate") nine! 9/11 reads like the emergency phone number used in the United States Send Good Vibes. They're funny because they're true in both interpretations of the word, and they are best understood when read. I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? 8. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you." Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? ", He sent me this pic: http://imgur.com/MuXVhX0. Artie got his ass handed to him at that time, but so did Paul. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. Homographic puns are also known as heteronymic ("same name") puns. Take a page out of my book and leaf! I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time. (Credit: @hogwartslogic on Twitter), Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. 2. Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. But it was just a Fanta sea, When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic, Will glass coffins be a success? Now whats my seat number?. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes, My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes, When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. The odd couple. Auto-biography. A tire, I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon, FUN FACT: cats are made of iron, lithium, and neon. Fair warning: Googling a team name is arguably a more punishable offence than searching out an answer, and you may be banished from the quizzing community indefinitely if caught. Bud Abbott: All right, theres your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me. So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! A bra is a uniquely democratic tool. Score a home run with these hilarious baseball puns and jokes! Yeah, he was Looking for Alaska. Youve never read Fitzgerald? For some reason, sometimes you use Q in the equations, and sometimes you use 2*Q. Check out these punny slideshows that are perfect for your next chuckle. (Credit: @punnstagram), What do you call a thieving alligator? A: You planet. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. Check out these examples of puns in literature for more fun puns from your favorite authors. I could table a meeting with the chair of their sideboard. semicen ten nial. Female of the species is more deadly then the male, The female of the species is more deadly then the male, Van Gend en Loos v Nederlandse Administratie der Belastingen, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You, 2011 Alphen aan den Rijn shopping mall shooting, OOO, Den-O, All Riders: Let's Go Kamen Riders, Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None, Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony En Concierto, Versailles Saint-Quentin-en-Yvelines University, Female of the species is more deadly Ten the male, The female of the species is more deadly Ten the male, Van GTend Ten Loos v Nederlandse Administratie der BelastingTen, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Ten I'd Have to Kill You, 2011 Alphen aan Ten Rijn shopping mall shooting, OOO, Ten-O, All Riders: Let's Go Kamen Riders, JTennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Ten Concierto, Versailles Saint-QuTentin-Ten-Yvelines University. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine. Good Jokes for Adults. Whisker-ed away. A: Bellhop, Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? There are over 200 short jokes that will keep you and your friends chucklesnorting all day! (Credit: justbadpuns on tumblr), My boss yelled at me the other day, Youve got to be the worst train driver in history. You might surprise yourself and find that you have even more chemistry with those genres. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. I remember that someone completely missed the joke. 6. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or figurative language.A pun differs from a malapropism in that a malapropism is an incorrect variation on a correct expression . A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" Bud Abbott: Thats the way you feel about it, thats the last time I ask you for a loan of $50. Lou Costello: Ok, Ill owe you 10. Rome wasn't split into two? Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive." There are Skid marks in front of the dear!. Three times 7 went to 21's compound. One time, my teacher said, Name two pronouns. I answered, Who, me?. You can only ran, because it's past tents. The first one is on the house.". She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. He's been retired for 10+ years and he loves to talk on the phone to friends and loved ones for hours. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? My brother said carrots, cauliflower, and celery are c food too. Paul has a shitty life, his wife constantly berates him, his job sucks, his boss is a bully, his car is a shitty 85 ford pinto with a cracked windshield and is in bad need of a new transmission and to top it all off he's chubby, balding, and he has a small penis. "Well, he's back in town and wants your number.". Bud Abbott: How much did you give me? ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Bud Abbott: I cant help it if you cant handle your finances. Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? You planet. Teacher: So how do you set up this integral? I'll have a Russian Blue Christmas. He was chasing his tale. I wanted to visit the local library, but it was overbooked. Have you read the book on teleportation? Cat -atouille I think cats are man's best fur -riend. Related Topics. He goes back to bed. Be the wittiest tweeter, texter, and writer wherever you go! I went to the bank, trembling with anticipation, got access to the box, took it into the private viewing room. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" ", 1/23 - January 23rd reads like 123 I had to put my foot down. 48. Theyd stop at nothing to avoid them. "Tiny," says the lizard. Because it had a lot of stories! I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. What is red and smells like blue paint? Included in this entry are both puns to do with vampires in general, and vampiric pop culture references like . Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays, Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?". Did the bartender tell you his favorite book? Its the best I got. Because shell go on and on and on forever. 36. Teacher: Alright, and what are we integrating with respect to? The small tree had a bunch of those stereotypical ornaments (round, plain, solid color) in a bunch of different colors. I also wouldn't put him into a general category when it comes to dad jokes. Close your eyes. 82.65 % / 325 votes. Ireland. Even 10 wasnt shocked. I opened my journal but didnt know which page to usewrite or left. asks the bartender. If you are drinking milk or any other liquid while reading these number jokes, there is a very high probability that it will start shooting out of your nose due to hysterical laughter! 23. (Sorry.) Add 2. For now, she is just a listmaker at Bored PandaP.S. He left me the key in his will. Artie being the sentimental guy that he was picked the date of the start of their friendship, and their respective ages (46, 45). Ill do algebra, Ill do trig. Examples of puns in headlines and advertising include: You can also get a pint-sized laugh out of some pun examples for kids. They close out the bar and as the ugly lights come on they stumble blitzed, singing, onto the street arm in arm with the winning lottery ticket in hand and start the long walk back to Paul's place. No, it's bear tracks. It doesnt make any cents, What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? (Closed), I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? This number represents the number of atoms in one gram of Carbon-12. Ooops! Hilarious Puns to Get Your Friend Laughing Best Life I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter. Why is six afraid of seven?