It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Could be payday. Better inside than outside. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. 2. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Youre totally on the same page. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Image: wikimedia commons 6. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Are you going to help me have a good day? All rights reserved. Because youre highly qualified. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Feel my shirt. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Thank you Fred. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. 3. Dont get caught with nothing to say. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. 2. 64. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 87. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Thats because Im still waiting for you. That's impossible. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Still, the ghosters ghost on. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". 54. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Youre free to go. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! 96. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Hey, whered you get that nose? Youre not as bad as everyone says. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Then the worms eat you. still alive 810 GIFs. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. A real low-life. 7. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. I'm loved! What could go wrong? The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. If I had a tail, I would wag it! Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. I'm fine. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Is it your job to spread ignorance? 98. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. I'm happy! [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Don't Push It Too Far. Do you want the short or the detailed version? No, I'm Finnish. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". "Any day above ground is a good day. But half the time, it is a nightmare. 85. You might just find one. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. I died last week, since then. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. It could always have been worse. 16. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. You win the internet. My grandfather had a ton of these. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Hope you're well". Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. . Usually, people live and learn. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! I'm afraid I can't do that. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Now you can be! 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Do you have a minute? 2. My only talent is not being in a relationship. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Hanging by a thread. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 6. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. 1. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Dont wake me up yet. That's boyfriend material. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? I just adore my own company. (Say it like he or. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! 18. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Alexa's response: No, that's not true. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Follow for more funny content!! Spiritually? 4. 63. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Who told you that? 35. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. 1. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 58. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Im too expensive. 24. Heart-shattering. 7. I dont know. . On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. 4. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. 68. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. How did you get here? Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . 83. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. 3. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. 99. Congratulations, sir. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Because your ass is out of this world! Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Im single by choice. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. More like give me a sign that. 20. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. "See, I will finally make you smile.". 25. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? But, they will grow up into a dog. 8. 10. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. 5. 90. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. It's all about confidence. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Oh, what a long list. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Mentally? [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Another way to say Still Alive? I always yawn when Im interested. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. 1. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. Steven Wright (comedian). It's best part of the whole movie. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." 26. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Your email address will not be published. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. 13. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 13. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. 53. Spiritually? But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. I plead the fifth. 5. Then you die. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. - Anonymous. Stupidity isnt a crime. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." 51. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. 15. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Ive had worse. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. 14. 62. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. The police? 97. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Sounds like effort to me. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. There are nosy people everywhere! Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! The answer is simple. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Read more about Martin here. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Your hair looks great! Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha.